H, picks up phone and dials his work number.
D, answers: “Hello Fragrant WorkPlace.”
H: “Do we have a hacksaw?”
D: silence.
H: “So, do we have a hacksaw?”
D: “Yeeessss. It’s in the toolbox.”
H: “Ok, bye.”
D: “Wait. Wait. ”
H: silence.
D: “What do you need the hack saw for?”
H: “To hack something.”
D: “Can’t it wait till I get home?”
H: “Nope. Gotta do it now.”
D: “Do what?”
H: “Hack off that rusty-shower-thing. I got a new one.”
D: “Use the red-handled wire cutters.”
H: “Didn’t work. Gonna use that hack saw. Gotta go. Bye”
D: “Wait. Wa. . .”
Click.
It’s a crap excuse for a hack saw. Blade doesn’t stay in place. But it was better than the pruning saw, the wire strippers, the exacto knife, and the wire cutters. I have defeated the rusting-shower-thing.
There’s the phone.
H: picking up the phone but saying nothing as an attempt to foil the telemarketers
D: “Hello. Hello. Hello.”
H: “Oh hi”
D: “So how many fingers do you have?”
H: “Enough. Why?”
D: “Weeelll. The line was busy. And I thought maybe you’d had to call emergency and then left the phone off the hook.”
H: “But why.”
D: “The hack saw. You. Teetering on the edge of the tub. Whack. Slip. Blood.”
H: “I used a chair.”
D: “Okaaaay.”
H: “That’s a crap hack saw. And you need a new blade.”
D: “Okaaay. I’ll see you later.”
H: “Yup. Bye.”
You know, since he’s already imagining blood-spattered bathrooms, this may not be a good time to recommend Haddon’s Spot of Bother which I finished yesterday even though I did have to close my eyes for a bit in the middle.
Heather
So yesterday was “No Screens” day chez nous. I spend most of my work week staring at computer screens and a lamentable part of my free time staring at more screens. And as the season of increased irritation rolled round, I snapped.
The No Screens Measure was invoked householdwide. No vetos allowed. No computers and no televison and no dvds. Householders had to fall back on old-fangled amusements.
Much paper was used. Drawing pencils and beading needles were seen in action. Naps were had. Three and a half books were read. Actual conversations took place.
Verdict on No Screens: Some twitchiness observed at usual-podcast-listening time. Additional twitchiness observed at Google/Wikipedia withdrawal. Less inner twitchiness reported by all householders.
Heather
I saw this in St. Vinnie’s and I had to have it. Told myself it would be a gift for someone else. We don’t have a dog; not likely to ever have a dog. But for $2 I have a book full of pictures of dogs and fedoraed men with trousers hoicked up to their armpits.
And as a bonus, I have learned of and now covet Crow Shooting, a book which my father could have used when he wasn’t concentrating on porcupines or beer cans. It covers: “individual and flock habit, sets eight crow calls to music, tells how to locate and recognize roosts, build blinds and employ cover, and use various decoys.”
Must now find Popowski on crows.
I’m an inconsistent vegetarian. Weeks go buy without any meat-eating. And then I get tired and there’s meat cooking. But things like this make my non-meating self look more sensible than my meat-eating self.
What amazes me most is that the problem was reported only after the third empty syringe was found in the packing plant. Seems lax to me and doesn’t encourage confidence in the industrial food chain.
Heather
Warning: absolutely no hockey content. And that’s a good thing.
- The flurry of vacations at work seems to have ended–wonder if we really can accomplish miracles before US Thanksgiving?
-
I’ve been reading more about Jean Ewen and have just finished her father Tom McEwen’s autobiography The Forge Glows Red: From Blacksmith to Revolutionary, his rather rambling account of his years as communist functionary. (He was one the the eight men sentenced to five years in Kingston Penn for sedition in 1931). What I learned:
- never take anything from a blacksmith if he’s holding it with tongs
- RB Bennett and McEwen loathed each other and McEwen had a long memory
- a useful term: "swivel chair organizer"
- for a freakishly over-educated person, I know shockingly little about this period of Canadian history
- I feel a new interest coming on but I have no spare bookcase space. Then again, I can pick up some of the basics from one of my favourite websites: the Theses Canada Portal. (Yes wretched PDF files but free, accessible research material). Wonder if it has anything about the Hull Internment/Concentration Camp.
