Halfway
Credit: 96dpi
I’m at the halfway mark. The grades for the second term of my MLIS are trickling in; I’ve just about caught up on sleep; and I’ve stopped dreaming about imaginary assignments I forgot to complete.
Lots of ups and downs over the course of the year—some related to ordinary library school patterns and some related to my particular situation. Both terms have been more difficult than I expected. The difficulties haven’t emerged from the content of the program—which I enjoy for the most part—but from mundane problems of too many meetings to schedule, too much change all at once, and too little time taken to breathe.
When things feel most difficult, I slip into believing that I’ve been doing nothing. It’s a perverse habit of thought I’m trying to let go of since it magically erases the effort that went into selling our home, moving a household, reconnecting with family, learning the ways of a new city, negotiating the long term care bureaucracy, struggling with the pain of needing to arrange long term care for my mother, looking at long term care facilities and trying to choose the right one, going back to school and relearning how to be a student, learning the outlines of a new discipline, getting good grades, publishing a paper, figuring out how student groups work, working on a student journal, winning a competitive internship, and getting past some crazy-making situations.
My hope for the summer is balance. Yes I want to learn the ins and outs of reference work and web services in a research library but I also want to spend time with my partner (he-who-has-done-ALL-the-household-work), re-start a sitting practice, explore the city more, and read for pleasure. Novels. I remember something about novels.
